मैं मंजिल के पास आकर बिखर न जाऊं
सोचता हूँ आज रात अपने घर न जाऊं
मुझे है इन्तेज़ार उम्रदराज़ हो जाने का
दिन भर बेरोज़गार रहूँ और दफ्तर न जाऊं
लहरों को देख तेरी नज़रों की याद आती है
सोचता हूँ फिर कभी समंदर न जाऊं
गली में कुहराम मचा है और मैं बच्चा हूँ
माँ ने कहा है मैं घर से बाहर न जाऊं
छोड़ गया अपना कुनबा बीवी की खातिर
अब्बा कहतें हैं मैं बड़े भाई पर न जाऊं
© राज़ नवादवी
As luck would have it I got drawn into spirituality too at a very tender age and thus pangs of my unrequited human love found some solace in the faintly understood wisdom of the divine. I read the likes of Maharshi Raman, Bhagwan Rajnish, Dr. Chaturbhuj Sahay, Aurobindo, Swami Sivanand, and many other Indian spiritual classics, Vedanta literature and the theosophical doctrines that were part of my father’s small library at home even when I was only at school. I would meditate or feign meditate and draw some self-acknowledged and half understood satisfaction out of it. I also once wished to run away to Himalayas and seek God when I was only in class 7 or 8.
All said and done however, it became more and more clear to me that of the two parallel tendencies running across me and pulling me into two mutually opposed directions- worldly gratification and the divine aspirations- I would need one day to take a conscious side if I wished at all to be at peace with myself. Which side out of the two my quest for love belonged to, I could not however know for sure that time and hence the brook of my life kept running in two separate rivulets.
It has not been before passing through a long passage of spiritual grace of 17 years from My merciful Master that I realize today that the quest for love, which is so intrinsic to human existence, is only identical with the quest for becoming one with one’s own separated Self, and that no union lesser than the one with God, Master, or one’s own Soul or Spirit can ever satiate this quest. When this realization dawns upon us, the whole creation looks to be dancing in a universal divine love affair enacted through all creatures, big and small.
@Raz Nawadwi: Pages from My Diary
Bhopal 06/08/2014
Razn Nawadwi 